fuck everything

Alright I don't remember my blog log in, so you will have to deal with it here. Work pisses me off sometimes. Especially when I am trying to stop smoking... But what angers me more is YOU "America." Freedom? Hardly. Freedom to those who pay. I pay fucking taxes and I don't make shit. I make under 20k a year. Yet, when I have a good conversation with a guy who works hard to eat and sleep and STILL has to pay $8 for a bed at the homeless shelter (this is as far as Facebook would let me go) PISSES ME OFF. I had a good long conversation with this individual (30+ minutes and still wouldn't let me buy him booze) and it just infuriated me. He was just trying to get from the bus to the shelter where he called in (for a bed) some from other woman's phone. $8 dollars to sleep. $8 may be a lot (or little) to you and me. It can be a lot to me... But when a man is trying to get somewhere to lay his head, he deserves it. This man would not take a drink from me to save MY life. I hate the system and was so mad I gave him $20 *I* barely had. I have NEVER seen someone so thankful. I've bought booze, cigs, and most of all (unappreciated) food. But! My father (not God) taught me to love and to take care of those who honestly need help. I TRIED to get this man to let me buy him drinks. He seemed really cool and real. He wouldn't have it. He just wanted to get to the shelter, sleep, and try again tomorrow. Wow, what a great homeless person you may think?! Well, don't forget about the $8... I pay TAXES mother fuckers! And this man has to come up with $8 after everything?! Fuck you Mr. Big Man. That makes no sense and infuriates me. Not all homeless are homeless because they chose to be. Have a fucking heart. If you're unsure and they say they are hungry, offer to buy them food. If they decline, you win. If they accept, you're a better person and THEY win because they met someone nice enough not to be dick and write them off. That person deserves props for trying and being honest... So next time you're out... Will you help? Or will you be another "American" who takes care of "their own" just to fuck someone else over? Not everyone is as privileged as you. What will you do? I hope you make the right decision... Even if you think you were wrong.. you were right. They're in that position for a number of reasons must of us don't know or can't comprehend. Use your brain and think about what THEY need. We worry if we can buy a new couch, rugs, cigs, beers, couches, etc... What about being human and just helping someone out? You're worried about giving someone a few bucks who REALLY may need it just so you can save for your new TV? Fuck materialism. Try to take care of yourself, but make sure the people around you are alive. They're more important than your fucking new dining table with matching chairs that you will never eat on. PEOPLE make the world go around... Don't forget about them. And if you do, FUCK YOU!

i ono some subject

Went to the Saucer tonight as normal. Good times. Justin's back and that's always a plus. My apartment's parking lot is torn up as fuck so it was like a crazy maze getting through but I made it. Bill Maher is on Conan and is thoroughly enjoyable as always. Weekend ended up actually being pretty fantastic. Good times with good friends. Good shows and good movies. I'm still very surprised of those who still stay by me though we've had quite a past and didn't talk or hang out much prior to things becoming how the became. I needed this weekend and I don't think it could of possibly be any better given the many circumstances. Work was okay. Feel pretty shitty for my boss, Tom, and his family. His father in law suffered a mild heart attack Friday night and it turns out he has 2 100% blocked arteries and a 90% blocked artery. They need to do surgery but he ended up getting pneumonia and the flu over the weekend while at the hospital and so surgery is postponed and not looking well for the man. Terrible. I feel bad now exploiting my own endeavors but tonight, it's on. Me and Chris have made a bet. Who can the blow the highest on a breathalyzer... We are going to but a breathalyzer and plenty of Jaeger. It's on. I should pwn this given I can stay away. Liver... Get ready. You're gonna have to take one for the team. I love to win and I love to drink. Any pre-game suggestions? We've already made a rule we eat at the same times and basically the same thing that day. Well, at least 5 hours prior. Other than that, I don't have much to report... Except Bill Maher pwns. Goodnight.

fuck me

Blog one. Never know how to start this shit or what to say. That's why I never cared to do it before... But fuck it. Today is about what I imagined: me alone at a bar. Amusing night watching people be stupider than you could think possible. But that story has come to pass... Laughing at them was enough to remind me of my own chaotic confusion in life and what I supposed to do next. I'm emotionally and mentally confused. I thought things were mapped out but sometimes the worst things life bring out other things that basically kick you in the balls. Amongst my family, there are many other things I miss and don't feel I can let go of. Now, I'm scared to make any kind of commitment towards anything. Thankfully, time is on my side on this one. Time usually likes to fuck me in my ass without lube but I guess that's how it goes. Debating if I can really move to Missouri now... So much has happened so fast. I don't know now at all. What do I want? Where do I want go go? And who do I want there with me?... Time will reveal the answers in a short amount of time, but will it be short enough for my own sanity? We'll find out...